Ides of March/Hate/Love List

I'm hating:

• Work drama.  I can't disclose anything further.  Already was busted for "sharing" on social media. Enough said!

• Group work.  UGGGGGGHHHH!  I hate group work.  I was always the person in the group who was rolling her eyes while idiots discussed how they wanted to do things (incorrectly and inefficiently, I should add) and then just ended up doing the whole thing herself because I didn't want to put up with those idiots for a second longer.  I am taking an online course and we have a group work assignment. WTF? Why does group work exist beyond high school?  It shouldn't.  Anyways, I have a looney-bin group member who wants to meet up (uh, hello? We are taking an online course for a reason.  Most likely because we don't want to have to shower needlessly/we want to do everything last minute).  She says she wants to meet because she works better by "feeling" the vibe of the group in person.  Gross. I imagine her to be Tracy Flick a la Election.  Don't want to deal with her.  I got out of meeting, but she isn't happy.  I'm not happy that she has my email address...

• People who don't pick up their dog's shit.  So Cooper has developed this really endearing behaviour of eating dog poo.  It's wonderful!  He'll eat it frozen, cold, dried, or hot off the presses!  Besides the gross factor, he can pick up parasites from doing this.  So I officially hate people who don't pick up their dog's poo.  The problem is these people's dogs seem to poo in the middle of the night.  I have never seen someone leave their dog's poo unpicked.  If I do, however, ... Also, it looks gross.  Like, have some pride in the grass right outside your apartment door.

• Being poor.  Still sucks.  We were going to go shopping in Buffalo for a night over the March Break or go to Blue Mountain for two nights, but Cooper's butt infection literally shit all over that plan.  In the witty words of my friend Audrey, "What an asshole!" 

I'm loving:

• March Break! Hello? No teenagers, no work, sleeping in, wearing pjs all day, making non-teachers jealous, and time with hubby!  What's not to love? Plus, daylight savings was last weekend so I had a whole extra week to get "adjusted" to the time change.  Lulz. 

• Morning cuzzles.  We swore Cooper would not come in our room.  We also swore that he would not get in our bed.  This week has definitely challenged both of these ideas.  I forget who's idea it was, but Cooper has ended up in bed with us, cuzzling, watching the Price is Right as we wake up. And if that's wrong, I don't want to know what is right.  

Please enjoy watching a Price is Right contestant that is high on shrooms and drunk.

• Cleaning and getting organized.  Time off means time to get stuff done!  I cleaned my night table, make-up table, bookshelf, front closet, and dresser.  AND I think I found my new computer!  AND I researched new dog food for Cooper (methinks he has a wheat allergy) AND bought it! AND we put up a new shelf for our cook books.  We did work, son!

Look at my make-up table! PRISTINE!

• More daylight! I just realized that all of my love items are related to the March Break.  Thank God for March Break.  Anyways, more daylight rocks.  I can stop wearing my brass knuckles as I walk Cooper in the morning because there is actually daylight at 7:15 am!  More sun just means more happiness.  Am I right?

Kurtchel Dictionary 

Cuzzles - a higher form of cuddling, often incorporating snuggling.  

Regrets/Things you can't regret

I regret adding Cooper to our family.

I can't regret adding Cooper to our family.

Both of these things are true.  I guess it's like saying you regret having kids.  You're not allowed to actually say that because you love your kids and you can't imagine life without them and they are awesome.  This is how I feel about Cooper.

You're not allowed to say you regret getting your dog.  No one admits to it, but I know I can't be the only one.  I love Cooper with all my heart but I know it was a dumb decision.

He is so much work, he costs so much money, I worry about him all the time and sometimes I feel like the payoff isn't worth it.

But, he gives me the warmest greeting I have ever gotten everyday when I get home.  And when I hug him after a stressful day, all my stress and worry literally melts into the floor.  And sometimes when I look at him I just want to eat him because he is so cute.  And he makes me laugh from time to time.  And when he crawls up onto the couch and lays his head on my lap and sighs a big doggy sigh, I am crazy happy.

I'm sure my facebook friends think I'm obsessed with him.  I post ad nauseum about him and have a whole album with just pictures of him that I update all the time.  And we are obsessed in a way.  But he is a lot of work. A typical day with him looks like this:

Kurtis wakes up at 6:15 and takes him out for a pee and feeds him.
I walk him at 7:15-7:45 and then coax him into his room.
One of us comes home right at 3pm to take him on at least an hours walk/play.
The other walks him for half an hour after dinner.
The afternoon walker takes him out for a pee before bed and then coaxes him into his room to sleep.

So what right?  But this is everyday! We can't just disappear for hours after work to go grocery shopping or go to the mall or out for dinner.  We can't go away for a weekend or out all day long without finding dog sitters.  We can't stay inside when it's piss raining or a snow storm or Hurricane Sandy. We can't come home after work and drop on the couch and have a nap.

We also have clean his feet off every time he comes inside and when he plays in the afternoon he is often covered in sand/mud so we have to hose him off in the bath and dry him which takes at least half an hour, if all goes smoothly.

And walks with him at the moment aren't a piece of cake.  He has started to lunge at people/dogs when he is on leash or bark at dogs he can't meet.  It's super embarrassing and we are trying to deal with it but it adds so much time and stress to our walks.   And he tries to eat everything we pass on the street.  It's so annoying.

Don't even get me started on the money issue.

The last thing that I hate about owning a dog is the guilt.  I constantly feel like I don't spend enough time with him, or that he is unhappy in his life with us, or when we move, he won't have the same access to the beach and off-leash play and his friends here, or when we have kids, he will be ignored, or that we leave him alone too much, etc.  It's constant. I KNOW he has a great life.  I KNOW he is happy.  But I always have that nagging voice in the back of my head.

But, when I even think about giving him away, for even a split second, I get so sick, my heart breaks and I know I can't.  He is a member of our family.  He loves us and we love him.  We're stuck together.

And maybe I don't regret him, but maybe I regret the loss of freedom and the increase of responsibility that he represents.  Maybe we are just two people who don't want to be tied down.

It doesn't matter.  He is here, we love him.  But I know I'm not the only person who thinks this.  Maybe just the only person who will publicly admit it!

PS He just farted...